If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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