I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
