I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
