it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
