dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
