did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize