I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize