I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
