btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
