11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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