I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
