i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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