God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
