I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
