OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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