Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
