I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
