there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
