it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
