Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
