it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
