My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize