Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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