Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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