She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
