how can u be prego again
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
