you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
