no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
