Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
