I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
