hell yes lets make some ravioli
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
