her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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