He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
