i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
