i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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