There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
