just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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