"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
