Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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