You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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