his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize