Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
