Say something about gay babies.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
