Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
