Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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