I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
