I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
