It's like God shit irony all over that family
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
