A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
