Screwed.edu
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i've created a new STD.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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