I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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