How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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