THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
