seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
