but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dicks are not precious.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
