its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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