we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
