Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
