I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
