Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
