I cannot find my penis.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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