i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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