sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
