if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize