sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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