Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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